Meltdowns...

Last night I had a dream related to Dads last day alive, I woke up out of sorts, unsure why... Was watching with loving eyes as Marley and Mark had some beautiful cuddles this morning, and left them to play as I headed off to lunch with the girls... Listening to some sentimental music in the car, it all came flooding in, the dream, the special moments Mark and Marley share and that I am having a little baby that my Dad is never going to get to meet...

Meltdown...

I am not a cryer, well not since he died, but I cried all the way to Crickets... Pulled myself together... Within minutes of being in the safe presence of the girls, lost it again... I had a moment like this when I was having Marley, so I guess I knew it was coming, just took me by surprise... I could blame it on a million things, but the fact is, I miss him... And it sucks that he is never going to meet my family...

The zoo and the kid!

Yesterday we took advantage of a day off, beautiful sun and our Friends Of The Zoo memberships and went to the zoo... Truly awesome day, only downside was the influx of school children later in the morning... Marley loved the meerkats, all varieties of monkey, and most of all, the seals... That's when I took that photo, was tough because she was eating her sandwich and in fits of laughter as the seal swam round and demanding 'more more more' every time it swam away... Love the zoo, especially with my little family...

Scan was awesome, so nice to see our little ones functioning heart, brain, fingers, toes and whole little being... Was absolutely stoked on leaving, except that it is already measuring big... There are pros and cons to having big babies, all pros for the kid, all cons for the labour, ouch!

Standing on the tram...

Had to get the tram into the city this morning for a special event for work... Getting on the tram at a ridiculously large 19 weeks, two women get on in front of me, both taking the last two available seats on the tram, one of which was in the 'special needs' seats... Now I am big in the tummy, and it is clear that I am pregnant, I am not at the point that I need to sit because I'm all big and tired... For me, it is more about safety... If that tram takes a fast turn or quick stop and I fall onto my tummy, it would be dangerous to the health of my baby... We go the whole ride with no one making eye contact, G-d forbid that I would request a seat, then a couple people get off right before my stop, and the next people all ask if I want a seat first... This left me with a warm and fuzzy feeling, that at least some people aren't pricks...

Christmas Calendars Are In!

This years Christmas calendars are back from www.snapfish.com.au

Mark (very sweetly) used to make me a custom calendar every year for Christmas, then in time for Christmas last year we got a discount at snapfish and thought we could use the same calendar for us, and as gifts for a few family members... They are extremely cute, and if you can be bothered you can personalise birthdates etc, however doing 6 of them there was no way I was checking everyones special dates... An awesome Christmas gift idea!

Full up weekend...

This weekend has been crazy, long, busy... My sister-like cousin Charna, her son Chae and my Aunty Carmen visited from Cairns... We had loads of quality time... A beautiful sunny day in the botanical gardens, lunches and hot chocolates out, and a shopping trip to Chadstone... They have left our spot now, but we are visiting them for Christmas so it wasn't the most emotional goodbye...

One observation about little Marley and Chae, who she absolutely adores... Kids seem to think each other equal regardless of age... Throughout the long weekend Marley (20 months) clearly thought Chae (5 months) was her age/development stage... Going up to him and asking for his hand, which means she wanted him to come with her, trying to give him crayons to colour and share her toys and foods with him... This is just adorable, but a worry for the baby on it's way, the last thing I will need is for her to be feeding my newborn blueberries on the sly!

Happy Bray Week!

What a wonderful week!

Mine and my darling husbands birthdays... A beautiful weekend, a surprisingly lovely birthday, and to finish it off a massage, facial and pedi on the way to meet Mark for our annual birthday dinner at Fifteen... Which was just divine, as expected...





Happy birthday desserts!





Surprise flowers from my darling, and also from my mothers group friends :) needless to say, with all the messages, texts, calls, gifts and lovely flowers, I felt really special on the big day!

Go Specsavers Go!!!

Well today there was a great expectation to drop a grand on glasses, this is commonplace at OPSM, which is where I have been going for the last 16 years... When I was last at OPSM they royally effed up my script, so I made the decision to change to the new in Australia Specsavers... I used Specsavers in the UK and was happy with their service...

So I go to Specsavers, the optician is truly awesome... The rest of the staff are really helpful and on top of that I got 2 pairs of glasses for $760!!! Now if you have run of the mill bad eyesight you can get two pairs for less then half that, my eyes are extremely bad hence the hefty price tag... Still, my lenses alone are usually $500 if that gives you an indication of just how good a deal they give!

And for everyone out there that consistently suggest that I get laser, it is well and truly off the cards... My eyes suck so bad that even if I got laser I would still need to wear glasses full time, at least the dude was real with me... Even if it crushes my hopes of ever waking up and seeing my beautiful husbands face :(

Best Saturday Night In Aaaages...

After an awesome lunch with my friends we made our way to check in at the Stamford Plaza in the city... A beautiful birthday gift from my mum and Shane... Just chilling a little before the game was bliss, you don't realise how precious baby free time is... Cruised to Minotaur, and bought some Buffy and Angel graphic novels and made our way to the game...


Melbourne Victory V Sydney FC, our biggest rivals... I was really nervous about the game, it's so much more intense when you are pregnant... Surprisingly we played some good football! Scoring 3, with Sydney being completely shut down... Obviously adding to the greatness of the night, nothing like kicking arse against your rivals...


Back to our room for a lovely evening with the man I love the most in the world... I highly recommend that every couple with children get a full night away sometime, really let's you go deep into the beauty of your relationship...








All in all it was perfect...

Then right before bed while I was moisturising, my glasses fell off the bathroom counter and cracked on the tiles... Bad, bad, bad... Second time this year that's happened to me... Wouldn't be so bad if I had standard bad vision, however my eyes are really bad... It takes 4 weeks and costs $500 just for my lenses to be crafted, not including frames... Annoying, yes, but I will let go... Get a new script tomorrow, choose new frames and after dropping a grand on new vision, will be more careful in future!

Early birthday lunch at Mistys Diner

A beautiful lunch with a handful of friends to celebrate my birthday this afternoon... I LOVE Mistys Diner, why haven't I been here before??? We ordered a bunch of stuff to try as a group, ending with a massive burger each... Loved the jalepeno stuffed poppers, mozzerella sticks, curly fries and burger, the biscuits and gravy were not that great... Yummy food, excellent decor, reminded me of a diner we ate at in Vegas once... We will be back!!!

Early Birthday Kicks (x2)

Today I got my birthday kicks from Marks parents... Got to love an early present! There is another early birthday gift from the little baby in my tummy, some tiny tummy nudges... A brilliant gift! I love it when you first start to feel the baby move, it doesn't distract too much, it doesn't hurt yet and it's kind of like a special secret between the two of you... Good times!

Birthdays when you are pregnant are a bit blegh... There is a definite feeling that you don't need anything, you are going to be blowing up like a whale so the last thing you want is anything that reminds you of your pre pregnancy weight, and the only thing you really want is to have a baby... Then there are always shoes, but your feet are always changing size through and after your pregnancy, but we went with shoes *fingers crossed* my feet don't go up another half size this time!!! I really don't want feet bigger then they are currently, but this will be my last pregnancy so hopefully they don't change, and if they do, it's not too much!

Something about the crust?

Can someone tell me what is up with a toddler not eating her crusts? This is new, it happened while she was sick and I sort of understood, just because of the sickness related fussiness with food... But now she is better, eating like a trooper, I thought the anti crust movement would end... It hasn't...

The crèche run...

Marley goes to crèche one day a week, so that I can work... Mum has her other work times, so I am extremely lucky to not have to send her to the care of trained professionals more then once a week... It was a decision I never planned on making, but I need to work, and this is just how it's gotta be... There are pros and cons to sending her...

The best part is getting a full day to myself... I may be working but all day I can think about whatever I want, zone out in between clients, listen to offensive music in the car, just get some grown up time... The very best thing is her face lighting up as she calls out 'mama!' when I arrive to pick her up, we are both so happy we turn off the stereo in the car and sing to each other the whole way home!

The two worst parts are how much I miss her, it's huge and sometimes I struggle to supress it... The other worst thing is that when I do pick her up we then have to get in the car to go home, instead of smothering her with love, which is probably why we sing... Usually a medley of her current favourite nursery rhymes... Today it was 'pop goes the weasel', 'row, row, row your bowt' and 'baa baa black sheep'... Kid just fills me with joy!

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson (The Millennium Trilogy)

These books are extremely addictive and completely satisfying... I only picked up the first one because we were on holidays and they didn't have what I was looking for... I hadn't heard anything about them, and was under the impression that they were mild thrillers... I was wrong, that first book is pretty intense and after reading the last 300 pages in one sitting I had the most intense night horrors ever!

The best two books weren't as damaging, but still all I thought about for the few weeks it took to read them... If you have some time, you should definitely pick them up... My only words of advice would be to make sure you have next next one ready!

Sickness ending with cake, everything should...

Things in this place have been on the decline healthwise... Marley picked up a cold, passed it on to me, got better, I started getting better, then picked up another strain which I gave back to her and to Mark... Two weeks of fevers, coughs, snot, exhaustion, and finally it feels like we have all peaked and might make it all well by the weekend *fingers crossed* it's mine and Marks birthday weekend and there is a hotel room in the city with our names on it!

In these turbulent weeks I really wouldn't have survived without the help of Mark and my mum... After broken sleep with a coughing toddler, I was sneaking little sleeps through the day while mum looked after Marley, it definitely helped... But when Mark was off work today I was definitely jealous that he got to sleep all night, on great cold and flu drugs (which I have been yearning for), sleep in this morning and stay in bed most of the day... But it's always different for the mama, there is no annual leave for mums... Or good drugs for pregnant women, been surviving on Vicks Vapo Rub Greaseless Cream and Lemsip... Now we are almost clear of disease, mum has delivered some yummy home made banana cake, and we are settling in with hot chocolate, cake and Dexter...

A new day...

Well it is a new day, new name and new look... For the past two years I have struggled with blogging, becoming pregnant and a mother changed my life... I tried to keep it on point, but my focus and time restraints have changed... I have decided to give it one last go, keeping the focus on all of the relevant parts of my life, a massive part of my life is being a mum to my 19 month old, Marley... So the subjects may deviate from the old, but you can't live in the past...

Here is to a new blog, filled with all of the things I love!